Hi Braves fan. Your favorite player just got traded.
While not absolute, the above statement is probably true. Many of you are sad, or angry, or have given up hope. But fear not! I have made it easy to see your favorite player play this season in Turner Field. Below are the names of former Braves and when they will appear in Atlanta. Don’t get your tickets now; wait until they invariably drop to $3 on StubHub.
David Carpenter and Chasen Shreve (Yankees): 8/28-8/30
Justin Upton (Padres): 6/8-6/11
Anthony Varvaro (Red Sox): 6/17-6/18
Tommy LaStella (Cubs): 7/17-7/19
Jason Heyward (Cardinals): 10/2-10/4
Evan Gattis: Not appearing in Atlanta in 2015. Unless the Braves play the Astros in the World SeriHAHAHAHAHAHA